Broken_Heart--large-msg-123423271342Love hurts so much sometimes that you feel like your heart is breaking.  I have found that when someone you love leaves you, it can trigger deep feelings of abandonment, heartache and pain – often related to childhood.

That’s when EFT tapping can help release the pain and help you break-free.

Recently I shared a client story in Gary Craig’s EFT newsletter about Tina (not her real name) who was struggling to find love because she felt emotionally distant from boyfriends and did not know why.  During a one-hour EFT tapping session she recalled a traumatic incident of being molested by a man on a train when she was 12 years old – and the subsequent shame that had “frozen” her ability to speak up for herself or to let a man get too close to her.

As she released the traumatic memory and connected with her Younger Self and promised she would love and take care of her, she felt totally liberated from the past.

I got a warm response from many people who related to the story – including someone asking for help NOW.

“My heart is breaking as I watch my boyfriend move out…I feel helpless and in despair – can you help me?” she wrote. Among her fears was being alone during the December holidays. Here are two suggestions I gave her which may help you or someone you know break free from heartache or obsessing when “he’s just not that into you”.


Start off with: “Even though I have this heartache, I deeply and completely love and forgive myself.”

Tap as you repeat: ” this heartache… this fear of being alone… this anxiety”.

Continue with another round saying:

“Even though I can’t seem to get over him, I love and forgive myself anyway.”

The key is to find the trigger that set it up.

Ask: “WHAT SET THIS UP?” as you continue to tap on your EFT meridian points. Look for the Younger Self – usually in childhood but also possibly in your teens – when something similar happened (emotionally speaking) that is triggering intense feelings of heartbreak, loneliness or abandonment.

Expect a “break-free-aha” that might cause tears as you release the past traumatic or intense memory to help you break-free now. Then, still tapping, send love and comfort to your Younger Self from your Adult Self now.

EFT tapping reinforces the power of healing your pain now as you comfort and reassure your Younger Self.
SP inner child

Try this second method – different from EFT tapping – which also accesses the hurting CHILD WITHIN. It is  called OTHER-HAND/ LEFT HAND (if you are right handed) WRITING AND DRAWING.

Get a blank page journal or simply sit on the floor with a large piece of paper and some pens and crayons. Take a crayon, pencil or pen and start a dialogue with your Inner Child. Your dominant hand speaks for the Adult You. Your other-hand replies from the Child Self.

RIGHT HAND: Hullo Little One. You seem unhappy. I can feel you crying inside… I am hear to listen to you and comfort you… tell me what is upsetting you – how can I help you?

LEFT HAND:  Write a reply with the non-dominant hand which is accessing the emotional side of the brain, providing a way to tap into your Younger Self’s feelings. It may feel strange and difficult at first but persevere and really listen to what she is feeling and NEEDS from you right now.

Let her draw a picture. You will be amazed and what is revealed and communicated. And how much better you will feel as you connect and integrate her into your life. Build trust with this Younger Self. Embrace and hug her as you close your eyes and imagine holding her close… promise her she is NOT ALONE because she has YOU to take care of her.

Use these tools and I guarantee you a leap forward in feeling stronger and more self-confident about coping with a break-up  because your vulnerable Child realizes she has You to take care of her.

Let me know if you have any tips to share about getting over heartache when love hurts!

Love and hugz,