You can mend your broken heart!

In the first few years of dating after I turned 50 and found myself divorced after 25 years marriage, I experienced fear, total lack of confidence and heartache.

So for anyone suffering the grief of a bust-up or dying relationship…I know what it’s like to feel ripped apart when dumped or parting from someone with whom you’ve shared love, companionship and intense feelings . Part of you may be saying “good riddance” but another part of you is also crying desolate tears of grief and abandonment.

Let me reassure you – you are not mad, incurable or the only one.  Celebrities and multi-millionaires suffer the same emotional heartache as you or me.  Every human, rich or poor, unknown or famous, has the potential to love – and thus be hurt.  It’s a universal malady, the subject of hundreds of love-lorn songs. And yet when it happens to you – it’s unique.

I know what it’s like to be “stuck” in the wrong relationship – yet feel powerless to leave.

I know what it feels like when a relationship ends messily and well-meaning friends and family tell you:

  • He wasn’t good enough for you
  • It’s for the best – you’ll see!
  • Move on – you’ll get over him
  • It’s not your fault – maybe he wasn’t ready to commit

I also know that if you don’t clear these damaging feelings – both in the NOW and from the PAST – they can ruin your chances of love in the future.

Let’s face it, almost everyone, at one time or another, is affected by a broken heart. But at the time it feels like it will never mend.

You long for a time when you will feel whole again, stop jealousy and obsessive thoughts and MOVE ON.

You want to feel balanced emotionally again, regain self-confidence and open the door to new love.

Attachment can look very similar to addiction as I said in a previous post. It’s frightening to realize that though you are a totally rational human being, love sickness can turn you delusional, obsessive or crazy. Every day, there are headlines in the paper about partners driven to acts of harm and desperation because of being rejected or overcome by jealousy.

If this sounds a bit like you, the best thing you can do is make a determined resolution NOT to  feed the attachment by focusing on your ex or holding out hope you’ll get back together. It won’t work and will not only drive them even further away but drive you crazy and keep you hooked into the pain.

Release yourself from the invisible chains or chords connecting you to your with these simple tools:

1. Use EFT tapping as used by many thousands of people to break free.  Say things about releasing, forgiving and letting go.  For example: “Even though I feel addicted to him, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.   Do a silent release every time you think of your ex, which may happen a lot at first. Say and tap “I release myself to my highest good”. And “I release you to your highest good.”

2. Refocus. Rather than continuing to focus on your lost love, turn your thoughts to something else. Starting with you. You may need to catch yourself often in the beginning but if you don’t you simply drag out your own pain. Instead, distract yourself with something fun, thoughts of the life you want, daydreaming about a better love. Start a Vision Journal.

3. Say an affirmation. Remind yourself that you will have more and better love (one that is mutual and easy) by telling yourself: “My Divine, compatible soulmate, who is completely available and perfect for me, is on the way now. I trust that he will love me as much as I love him!”

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