Update for this blogpost 18 months later…December, 2017.
I looked long and hard at my book, Goal Success EFT Tapping and decided to take out all the pictures, revamp the cover and put it out on Audio. I accepted a inner clearing session with a fellow therapist who heard my angst – that made a huge difference.
Then I wrote to Amazon, using their criteria of an unacceptable review and stated my case.
They removed the Hate Review!.
And the lessons learned were VALUABLE!
What to do when someone leaves a “Hater Kindle Book review” on Amazon? In this audioblog post I offer you my words, spoken from the heart, about how I responded and what I learned – mainly about myself as an author and creative – from the offensive, inappropriate Amazon Kindle Book Review which I discovered recently posted on my book Goal Success EFT Tapping.
You can find a full transcript of the audio – courtesy of www.rev.com below.
Hello, my name is Caryl Westmore, creator of the Break-Free Fast for Goals Success System, so that you can live the life you love. In June 19, 2016, by chance I opened a link to my Amazon Kindle book – only to be hit by tsunami of hatred and vitriol disguised as a book review for my book Goal Success EFT Tapping.
I’m the creator of several books on Amazon including this one…Goal Success (EFT Tapping).
It contains my teaching on the 5 Steps to Goal success, using the advanced emotional energy healing tool for Goals Success called Matrix Goals Reimprinting, which I developed under the guidance Karl Dawson, the EFT master and creator of Matrix Reimprinting.
Kindle Book Reviews
Like anyone who has written a book, reviews on Kindle are greatly valued. So I was shocked to see a review that was not only minus one, so to speak, but ripped into me personally, used what I considered foul language, about the marketing aspects that they perceived in the book The hate rant also attacked Karl Dawson for being associated with the book (he wrote the Foreword).
My first reaction to this hater Kindle book review was to reel back, feel shame, and hide under a rock.
Trauma and Abuse often causes Shame and Self-Blame
From my work as a healing coach and therapist using EFT Tapping and Matrix Reimprinting, I’ve learned that when someone was abused, especially when they were a child, they often blame themselves and suffer shame. I wasn’t actually conscious enough at the time I saw the review to put all that together, but I knew one thing: The nature of trauma is that it’s dramatic, unexpected, isolating, and you feel helpless. So I knew that immediately, without having to think, that this was a trauma process for me.
So immediately I stopped the isolating and I thought,
“Let me get help, I don’t have a clue what to do.”
I didn’t even see the report abuse button Amazon puts below the review box.
I took action by going on to several Facebook groups I belong to, because as an author and writer I’ve been involved in several courses.
One FB Group supporting clients on the Kindle in 30 challenge was created by Book Ninja Kristen Joy. I knew, having had a consultation with her that we had a personal connection and I could ask her and other Kindle writers, “What should I do in this situation?”
Her response: “You can report the abuse,” followed by: “And get others to report the abuse so that Amazon will know that there is a flurry of people saying that this review… basically contradicts their strictures to not be spiteful etc.
Amazon have rules about things that you’re not supposed to do in a review, rightly so. But in this case, the reviewer over stepped the boundaries (see below for Amazon’s stand on offensive reviews).
Critical Reviews are OK
Now let’s just be clear. If you don’t like a book you can give a reasoned review, say the things you don’t like, and get a refund. In this case there were personal things that showed that the person was just on a hate rant. Anyway, I then thought about it and I said to her, “Should I just address people generally in the groups I belong to, or shall I personal message people on Facebook and ask them directly?”
She replied: “both.”
So I did that, I sent a Direct Message to about 10 people I knew would understand and you must remember I was still in shock, so I might have left out some people who would have supported me.
I could have cited this link from Amazon which specifies their stand on offensive content/reviews:
Reviews that contain inappropriate or offensive content
Inappropriate Content – Reviews may not contain obscenities, profanity, phone numbers, mailing addresses, non-Amazon URLs, videos with watermarks, foreign language content (unless there is a clear connection to the product), or other people’s material (including excessive quoting).
Hate Speech & Offensive Content – We don’t allow reviews that express intolerance for people belonging to identity groups including race, gender, religion, sexual preference, or nationality. Customers are allowed to comment on products and question the expertise of authors, sellers, or other customers as long as it is in a non-threatening manner.
Direct Messages sent to Facebook Friends:
I wrote: “This is the link. Please, all I’m asking is that you click the button below the review that says: “report abuse.” In the meanwhile, particularly in the EFT and Matrix Reimprinting group which I belong to, having been one of the original Matrix Reimprinting trainers, and the first one in South Africa, I got a variety of responses. Mostly supportive and mostly saying, “Maybe he’s an angel in disguise”, et cetera.
One in particular, and I don’t blame her, but this is a typical response to abuse victims was, “Pretend it didn’t happen, ignore it, these things happen.” In other words, “Move on.”
Normally I might agree because in terms of the Law of Attraction, it is better to ignore rather than give energy to what you DON’T WANT because what resists, persists.
“Not THIS time,” I thought, “I know better!”
Case Study: The Woman who couldn’t “speak up for herself”
I also knew that this was not a time to do that. I remembered particularly one of my clients who came to me because she couldn’t speak up in situations, particularly … she was a pharmacist … this was like 10, 15 years ago … she couldn’t speak up for herself in most situations where other people were involved – even at a cocktail party. When we did the work, it transpired that there was a trauma at the root of her pain.
You’ll find that these traumas go back usually, to before the age of 6. There she was 4 years old, her uncle abused her or was abusing her. She tried to tell her mother and her mother said, “It’s not happening, don’t lie, it’s not happening to you. You’re just making it up. Can’t be true.”
Pretend it didn’t Happen?
So can you see how this one person on Facebook was saying to me, “Just pretend it’s not true.” However, this is a public review and it will stay there for eternity I guess, until someone stands up to the bully/ ranter/ hater, and says, “This is not okay. You are being spiteful without reasoned cause and thus contravening Amazon’s strictures for a book review.
“I didn’t know how to do this initially, so several people then did go and click the REPORT ABUSE button. I had a lot of responses which really helped me move through the initial trauma.
Comments like:”That’s it, I’ve done it, I’ve done it, I’ve done it, that’s not right, I’ve done it.” I was grateful for those.
I then went back myself and made a response, which I hadn’t been able to do, and began to do the inner work and look for what I call the impersonal aspects of what this review meant for me.
One such way was by being impersonal and viewing the incident in terms of archetypes playing out in my sacred contract – as explained by medical intuitive Caroline Myss – who had once read ME only too accurately!
Lessons from Caroline Myss
Archetypes by Caroline Myss
I had recently picked up and re read my books by medical intuitive and spiritual teacher Caroline Myss – particularly her books entitled Sacred Contract – Awakening your Divine Potential and Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can.
How Myss once read me
I remembered vividly Myss doing a reading on me in South Africa many years ago, from the stage. It had shocked me out of my story of malaise that I felt trapped in regarding my marriage. I felt stuck, and she looked piercingly at me from the stage, read my body/field and said,
“You are not in a power struggle, Caryl. You are suffering from an abandoned child, terrified of moving, in fear, stuck in fear.”
[bctt tweet=”Playing Victim leaks your power and energy says Caroline Myss” username=”@CarylWestmoreUK”]
Myss describes 4 basic archetypes that we all have that can sabotage us if we don’t handle them.
One is the VICTIM
The 2nd is the CHILD (wounded but also magical/creative)
3rd is the SABOTEUR
The 4th is the PROSTITUTE.
Each of these operates in all our lives (with negative and positive results).
In addition, we have other archetypes which walk with us, she says, from the time we incarnate, and are part of our sacred contract. As we work with these archetypes and see what happens to us from a more impersonal point of view, it helps us grow, it helps us reconnect with our divine rights, and creates connection to our divine soul.
So I began to look at this incident, gradually I was able to. I didn’t ask someone to do an EFT-Reimprinting session on me (though I DID do this later). In this case I was graced by what intuitively came to me, which I put in this blog post, Lessons Learned From a Hater Kindle Book Review.
Key Lesson Learned
BE IMPERSONAL
When something like this happens do not take it personally. Despite being a highly sensitive person, I have learned the the tools and skills to choose my response and actions.
So that’s what I did. I chose to see the archetypal BULLY-VICTIM story happening here and see how I could take action and not be helpless.
Other takeaways from this experience I will reveal in another audio, but that was mainly what I want to share today. Do not sink into victim AND do not stay in victim because as Caroline Myss says:
“We are leaking our power when we keep telling our story as that of victim.”
If I was to stay in this poor me, bad, bad review syndrome I would not gain traction from it in my life journey.
Thankful for this review
I want to say now that I’m thanking that review because it kick-started me into doing something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time, which is to remove the photographs and pictures in the Goal Success EFT Tapping Kindle book, revamp the cover, and put it into Create Space, Itunes and Nook format. I’m also intending to post an audiobook of Goal Success EFT Tapping on Amazon – and offer my 5 Steps to Fun and Fearless Goal Success Course again.
So I’m going to close off here. I wanted to record this to get the inspiration for myself and others from Lessons Learned from a Hater Book Review on Amazon Kindle.
Leave your comments below – or email me directly at goalsuccessyes {@} gmail .com or Like me on Facebook and send a Direct Message. I’d love to hear your comments and what you have done – or would do – if faced by a similar situation!