Online Dating on site Match.com – or any other similar online dating site – is both hilarious and heroic for anyone over 50, according to boomer writer Anne Lamott who tried it at age 58.
Anne Lamott is one of my favorite writers, especially her classic writing book Bird by Bird and many other wise and insightful books on being a woman and a writer.
She says it was as scary and heroic as anything she has ever done.
I’d done so many scary things in my life, but this might be the scariest. At the age of 58, I joined a dating site.
She also writes:
Some people my age — extreme middle-age — train for marathons, or paddle down the Amazon, skydive, or adopt. They publish for the first time. Me? I may have done the most heroic thing of all. I went on Match.com for a year.
As someone who myself spent five – or was it six? – years “heroically” online dating after the age of 50+ – I am sharing Lamott’s hilarious, compassionate and beautifully written take because I know that if you don’t laugh in the game of playing on online dating sites you may give up and cry.
So laugh my fellow women friends…laugh and don’t let online dating get you down.
For laughter, as Dr Christiane Northrup says in her Goddesses Never Age book and videos, is one of the prime activities like meditating, orgasm and dance (and EFT Tapping) that produce anti-aging hormones that keep you youthful.
I’m glad I persevered with my dream to find true soul mate love.
Though my story ended happily ever after – and Lamott’s so far is inconclusive – she does admit it had its pluses.
Caryl ‘s Online Dating Story:
I was 50 when I ventured into online dating – and as I describe in my book Online Dating Success Secrets for Women 40/50+ there was grief, heartache and pain – plus some real laughter, a year of committed love and tremendous courage on my part to stay on course when the chips were down (frequently I must confess).
What kept me going was my determination to use my experiences to clear the past patterns keeping me attracting those Love Villains – and to create Law of Attraction style an imaginary Love Hero who I would hold out for – no matter what – or lick my wounds and say…well, thanks but no thanks.
My advice to other midlife women is
- Expect to perservere longer than one year if you truly deeply madly want to attract true soul mate love and
- Expand your net to more sites than match.com
- I ended up meeting Nick, my soul mate love (still happily together after seven years as I write this – 2014) on a community site called www.couchsurfing.com Not a dedicated site for finding love…but a site for following your passion to travel.
- If finally you decide to desist and give up then let it go without self judgement and accept that you can be happily single with YOURSELF.
Online Dating Site Match.com…
…taught Lamott some useful things about sex, snoring and religion (as men describe it):
- Sex – women couldn’t care less, men want it more than ever and frequently get into internet porn
- Snoring – 91 percent of men are likely to snore loudly – badly, like sick bears, says Lamott
- Religion – most men say they are “spiritual not religious” – but what that really means she says is … that ” this means they think of themselves as friendly.” In other words… “glass half-full kind of people.” … They are “open-minded and welcome all viewpoints.” They are rarely seeking religious nuts like myself — rather, they are seeking open, non-judgmental women
She ends by writing:
You could say that my year on Match was not successful, since I’m still single, have been reduced to recycling my Starbucks companions, and am pleased with “pleasant.” To have gone out so many times took almost everything I had, and then I didn’t even meet the right man. You start to wonder if there’s something wrong with you.
But I have two weeks left till my membership expires. Anything could happen. God is such a show-off, and I never give up on my dreams. Plus, amazingly, I have learned how to date. I can meet guys for coffee, and hang out with them for an hour, and either not have to see them again, or keep my heart open, hoping I do. Talk about awesome. I did it.
Your year online dating on match.com Anne Lamott is a hilarious priceless take on online dating for midlife women – I hope that waiting out there is partner for you seeking someone as funny, nice and sensitive as you – you deserve it and he should be so lucky!
Who else agrees that it takes guts – and a sense of humor – to undertake online dating?
A review of Match.com and what it costs to join – after a FREE TRIAL can be seen here.